I am so super excited to start a brand new year, not because I hated 2017 but because 2018 is a massive milestone in my life. Not in the “I’m getting married this year” or “I lost 3 stone” kind of way but more in a the world is my oyster kind of way, I cannot wait.
I have never really been the “New year, New me” type of girl more of a “Hey, Lets get black out drunk, Do shots at midnight and fall into next year” girl (which don’t get me wrong once again, I was) but this year just feels different like it might finally be the year I accomplish everything I want to do.
I started blogging almost 3 years ago (this one in the last year) and in that time I have written over 100 posts, I have posted maybe 20. I have always found a way to critique my own thoughts usually enough that i didn’t really need anyone doing it as well so I never posted but for christmas 2017 I got 3 self help books of 3 different friends.
One that really stood out to me was; Jen Sinceros’ “You are a badass, How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life”. Receiving these books was a massive eye opener for me because it made me think do I really need to have a think about how my life is really going and why other people were noticing it before I was. Truth is I knew it was me but there was not a chance I wanted to admit to it yet and there it was written on the back of a book my friends felt I needed so desperately “Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviours that stop you from getting what you want” and my god is there a long list so this is it my milestone explained it’s time to be the me I want to be.
Happy New Year everybody and let’s have a great one.
Am I Transphobic? The simple answer is no. There is not a single part of me that is scared of anyone Transgender, Homosexual, Asexual or anything under the LGBT community. The dismal side is though that unless I agree with everything that is said between the LGBT community I can be penalised.
I take this subject incredibly personal because I hate the thought of someone being judged for being who they are born to be but I hate it more when people play on it for Facebook friends and make it seem like a joke to them. A guy I have been friends with for over 8 years now has been openly gay all the time i’ve known him (well almost for the first year he pretended to his parents that he was dating me) in the past 2 years he came out as Asexual once again I had no issue with this he decided he wanted a more gender neutral name, picked a male name and fought everyone who could not understand it. In the past few months he became She and officially came out as being transgender, now I just want to state one more time, I do not have any issue with this at all.
The issue I actually have is how she uses her transition in such a negative way, instead of promoting equality she creates a divide, A hatred towards people who are heterosexual. How someone who can claim to just want to be accepted for who she is, can throw so much shade towards people who at some point in life were their “friends”.
I just never understand why people claim to be fighting for equality but also fight for “gay only bars” or cornered off areas. Why can’t instead of trying to divide ourselves into different genders, sexualities, religions and backgrounds can we not just sit and not even question whether or not my male best friend is in a dress and is now my female best friend? Who am I to make that judgement and who the hell is anyone else to try?
In this day and age people don’t care anymore, it is now the social norm to wear, feel and identify yourself in whatever the hell you want but then do not try and make me out to be the bad person because I may not identify as being different.
You don’t need a safe space, you just need to be more understanding that no, not everyone is going to be in the same situation as you but most of us are willing to learn and the rest just aren’t worth the time of day, let them be arses but that does not give you an excuse to be one too.
I am slowly realising that when it comes to making plans with people, being older sucks. When I was 14 I could go out every night and know at least one of my friends would want do something even if I text them 20 minutes before I wanted to go out, Now its more like I have to book time with them a month in advance and even then they cancel the night before.
As I sit writing this I should be out on my final night (which was planned 3 weeks ago) with all my friends before I move back home and abroad for 6 months. I am 21 and i’m sat feeling sorry for myself yet strangely i’m not shocked in the slightest. It makes me wonder; is this the social norm now? Do we just accept people letting us down because we expect it? Or is it now that we blame ourselves?
I am now at a point that all i think is screw the social expectations, why is it okay for people to just let us down? It’s not. Yet I dunno about everyone else but i just forgive my friends as soon as they message me at a later date, I never even bring up what they’ve done I just think “Na it won’t happen again” that is never the case they do the same the following week.
Don’t get me wrong I have A few friends that I can count on (most of the time anyway) but why do we still surround ourselves with washout friends. Sometimes I wish I was a high maintenance friend, the one people never let down cause they know it just isn’t worst the drama that follows instead they just show up.
The other side of it I suppose is that now you can actually tell when you’re being ignored, it’s like “YO I CAN SEE YOUR ON FACEBOOK” or “YOU LITERALLY OPENED MY WHATSAPP MESSAGE 40 MINUTES AGO” gone are the days when you could be ignored and pretend you weren’t actually being ignored. My friends for example will just ignore my messages and then pretend they didn’t see them in time or they’re phones aren’t working.
The big issue at the moment is being female; my only friends that want to do anything are male which to me is not an issue but most of them also have girlfriends which suddenly turns me in to the bad guy. Everyone suddenly thinks your trying it on with people that to you are just really good friends making you a little bit of a hoe. This makes making plans even more difficult suddenly you wanting to go for a couple of a drinks means you want to date.
So for now at least my expectation of having a cool social life and not spending my life in my pyjamas, writing blogs to no one and watching Full House reruns is probably the reality of being the nice friend.